The Capsule Wardrobe Diaries: The “Bad” Jeans

Do we dress for Other People or Ourselves?

My husband never ever ever says anything negative about my clothes. Ever. He is nothing but complimentary when it comes to my appearance. In fact when my sons are married they will think it is totally normal to give compliments, kisses and back rubs freely. My daughters-in-law will be lucky lucky ladies. .


That’s why I was so taken aback when he said, “Those jeans aren’t doing you any favors. They make your butt look so flat.” It’s not like I was asking. This was straight-up unsolicited advice. I guess I should be happy that he’s still checking out my butt after 19 years of marriage. Right?

Jeans at Disney.JPG


This backside check reminded of the recommendation from the author of Lessons from Madame Chic to always look at the back view of your clothing. Is it free of holes and stains? Does it flatter you? These jeans, apparently, did not.

I thought I looked pretty good in them. They’re a fitted boyfriend style- not too baggy, not too tight, not too dark and not too light. They are like Goldilocks - just right.  

My best friend even texted me after I posted a pic of my family at Disney asking me what kind of jeans they were.

Madewell, I texted back. My new faves.


You can see the dilemma I hit when it was time to choose jeans for my capsule. I’d already gone from 14 pair to 9, and now I was committing to 5 (2 of which are the darn Zara jeans from my shopping binge).


As I was thinking it over, considering the fact that my BFF gave them her stamp of approval but my hubs really did not, it led me to ask myself:

Do We Dress for the Approval of Men or other Women?


I’m pretty sure I’ve seen an article about this somewhere in my InStyle magazine reading history. And before you go off telling me that we shouldn’t dress for anyone but ourselves (agreed), if we’re being honest about it, we DO want to look good and I’m just wondering who it is we’re really trying to impress? I can clearly look back and say for me it’s been other women. If you like shopping and you like clothes, chances are you’ve dressed for women too. If you’re in to trends and designers, you probably realize that only other women are going to recognize and appreciate your efforts to stay current. My husband could give a rip about that stuff and I would think it’s the same for most men. I know there are some husbands who are particular about how their wives dress but, for the most part, men don’t pay too much attention to the specifics. My husband has always been complimentary but it’s not like he’s saying - “Nice Lily Pulitzer dress” or “That’s a fabulous LV purse.” We women notice though, don’t we?

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Galatians 1:10


Same with trends. What man keeps up with the latest trend? Sadly, my effort to follow trends in years past often did not serve me well. I look back at photos and think, Bless her heart. That’s before she knew super-low-cut jeans and ballet flats don’t flatter someone with short legs. Or that bolo jackets are not a great option for someone with a long torso. That girl, I think, didn’t know her body very well. An understatement on so many levels.


I didn’t know it outside or inside. Before I was in the health and wellness space, I felt constantly betrayed by my body. For many years I battled stomach issues, a genetic skin condition and, finally, infertility. It wasn’t until I started connecting to my inside that the outside started to change for the better.


Don’t get me wrong. I’m still vain. I still care about my appearance. That’s not necessarily a bad thing it just can’t be everything. I’ve learned what works for me and what doesn’t. I’ve learned that you can’t fill a void or cover insecurity with new clothes. Most importantly, I’ve become more comfortable “wearing myself,” and I think that’s the key to it all.

After this rabbit hole of thought spurred by this one pair of jeans, I decided not to keep them in the capsule. I can’t be walking around here with a flat butt. ;-)


But I’m curious. Have you ever thought about it like this and what’s your take? Tell me in the comments ↓ I want to know!

Read more capsule posts HERE